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I'm terribly spoiled! At least I was when we lived in Tucson. I have great inlaws. I'm writing this because there seemed to be some concern about our inlaws staying with us.
Dave and his parents are really close. When he and I first met, he was going to there house every Sunday for dinner. We still do (or did, in AZ). He's an only child. Sort of. His dad was married and had two boys. When the boys were teenagers, the parents got divorced. Dad met Marilyn a couple of years later, got married and they had Dave. They were 40. The boys were, I think, 16 and 18. They are all incredibly healthy about it.
When Dave and I got married, we did a destination wedding in Tahoe and reserved condos for everyone to stay in. There were 3 0r 4 bedrooms per condo, so it was really cheap for everyone without being really cheap, ya know! When Dave told me that the boys (and their wives) were staying in the condo with his parents, I said, "And your mom's OK with that??" He said, "Yeah. Why wouldn't she be?" I said, "I don't know. I guess I was thinking of my family!"
When we first met and until we had Trevor, Dave's parents were snowbirds. That means they lived in an RV and during the brutal Tucson summers, they traveled. When Trev was born, they stayed that summer to help out and then they decided they were pretty much done with the whole snowbird thing. Partly because of their age and partly because of the grandchild.
This is where I really started getting spoiled!! They were the primary caregivers for our kids. When Trev was tiny and I went back to work, they'd come over an hour or so early so I could take a nap before going to work!
We never bought toilet paper or paper towels and the last 6 months we lived in Tucson, we never bought diapers either. We kept telling them we didn't need them to buy us stuff but it was like the diaper fairy came over. I'd go to work and when I came home the diaper shelf was overflowing! After awhile, you quit arguing and just be thankful.
His mom cooked for us about 4 times a week and when they watched the boys at our house, she'd clean the kitchen and do the laundry. I'd try to get these things done before she came over but my version of clean and her version are very different. Hers is cleaner.
They'd also watch the kids on Saturdays so Dave and I could have a date.
Did I mention that they are in their 70's??
We want them to just live with us but they want to live on their own as long as they are able. It's fine that way. Dave and his mom have a blowout every now and then and I gotta make peace. Other then that, we get along splendidly!!
When we first started talking about moving to CO, they said they were done moving and probably wouldn't come with us. Well, when the time got closer and they realized they weren't going to see the boys every other day anymore... They changed their minds. There's nothing in Tucson for them, really. Some friends but their closest friends had moved to Iowa the year before. The heat and the crime in Tucson is way too much for them so here they come!!
They will be the primary caregivers again. Mostly for Davis as Trev will be in school from 9-4p. We all can't wait!! I love the whole multi-generational thing. Growing up, my paternal grandma would come stay with us during the summers and every now and then my mom would kick us over to her mom's house for a few days or a week. Parents need a break, donchaknow! I'm so happy that my kids get that, too. Now if I can only get my mom to move out here, too! (Miss you mom!)
As to my stash being in the basement with the inlaws, I'm planning like I would for a long vacation. I have what I'm working on and what I want to work on in the near future safely ensconced in my closet upstairs. Besides, it's not like I can't go down there. That's where our laundry room is, for one. For another, they won't care if I need to get something from down there. We aren't' locking them in the basement and they will be going on day trips here and there to find a place of their own.
The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the sugar rush.
Going to go clean the basement, Ruth!
7 comments:
Do have any idea as to how completely lucky you are? What a wonderful relationship!!!
Wowsa! Sounds like a great time for all. Maybe you should all move into a place that has a built-in in-law apt. ?? We think about that here (ME), but mom (FL) has such a hard time with the cold.
It sounds as if your family is truely blessed. In my profession (divorce attorney) hearing such tails of love is rare indeed.
I have a liner for you...oh, should I go look at the contest page? Or will you email me your address? I just put up pics...
You are so lucky. Your kids are even luckier having that relationship with their grandparents.
My sister has a part time deal with our Dad (they live in BC). He lives in a house on the ocean on the Sunshine Coast and she and her husband helped buy and completely renovated the lower floor of his home. They have a weekend get away and they can keep an eye on him (he's 83, a widower, and wouldn't ever consider any sort of assisted living). They don't all always get along but I still think it's a great thing! I miss having family near by.
My parents live about 1.5 miles away from me and see my kids all the time. Now that they are young adults they appreciate their grandparents having been in their lives forever.
We've been trying to do the same with out grandkids but my daughter and her hubby just moved over an hour away so it's a little harder. But daily phone calls to the little ones make it a bit easier.
Oh, that's so cool! My kids have never been to daycare or had a baby sitter who wasn't a relative because my parents and my husband's brother both live within 20 minutes of us, and are wonderful. I love that my kids have their own room at my parents' house, and I love that they have a real relationship with their grandparents (I didn't). I'm happy for you guys--all of you. It's great for everybody.
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