Monday, July 30, 2007

Funyuns and Chicken

I'm in a piss-poor mood. I spent 2.5 hours at the DMV on Friday trying to get my CO license. I spent another 2.5 this morning and still no license. Some of it (OK, most of it) was my own stupidity but some of it was the fact that they only have 2 or 3 people working 5 or 6 lanes! Hate the DMV.
Then there's Target. Hate Target. Not true. Dig Target. Hate working there. There's this little tiny woman who pulled the same coupon scam twice on Saturday. She tried a third time on Saturday and again on Sunday but by then, they were on to her. She gets the Target coupons in the mail (the shiny ones, not the ones you can download from the Target website. I don't know how you get the mailed ones, sorry). She hands them to a cashier face down, scanny-bits side up and they scan them and the computer automatically takes them because they are Target coupons. If one were to turn the coupons over, one would see that she doesn't actually have any of the coupon items in her cart. She got $70 off her two shopping trips. OK. So the ETL's (mid-level mgmt people) are on to her now. They give all the cashier the coupon speech and tell us to be on the lookout for her. They do this two or three times. We GET IT!!
About 8:30p, I look over at McKenzie (one of my favorite co-workers, she's very sweet) and she's got this huge cart full of bagged up stuff sitting next to her spot. I ask what that's about and she said Scam Lady had been back and when McK. told her she couldn't use the coupons she had because none of that stuff was in her cart, she said she'd be right back and, of course, just left. I said, "She came back again?" We both wondered why she'd try the same scam in the same store three times in the same day. "And why would you do that for Funyuns and chicken??", McK. pondered.
So here's where we are reminded, yet again, that when someone decides they don't want some cold food item (milk, frozen stuff, meat, whatever), we have to throw it away!!! It's not even a Target thing, it's an FDA thing, from what I understand. And I do understand it. People will walk around Target for hours and you can't risk other people's health with this tepid-used-to-be-cold food. Still. What a waste. Horrible Phone Lady had a $50 prime rib when she walked out.
Then there's Stupid Banana Lady. I was working the express lane on Saturday when these two young guys bought some stuff. They had a huskie puppy with them on a leash, eyes so pale blue they looked white. It came around the register to say hi so I bent down and rubbed it's ribs for about three seconds. The lady behind them was buying one banana and had set it on the counter. After the boys left, I reached over and slid the banana onto the scale. She said, "I really don't think I want you touching my banana after you touched that dog." I thought she was making a joke, so I joked back, "Well, it's got that thick skin." (The banana, not the dog.) I realized she was serious when I saw the sour look still on her face. I sighed. (In my head, I was rolling my eyes so hard, I could actually see my own brain.) I picked the banana up with a bag over my hand and inverted said bag so the fruit was inside. She handed me a dollar and I laughed before I could stop myself. She snapped, "What's so funny?" I looked her in the eye and said, "Ma'am. That dollar you just gave me, and all the other money I handle all day, is about 100 times filthier then that dog could ever be." She snatched the bag off the counter and stormed off. I was about to also mention all the chemicals they spray bananas with but she was already gone. Hey lady, uptight, much?
Here's as far as I got with my TDF KAL socks....
sigh. No jersey button for me, I guess. Not that I could figure out how to put it up anyway.
I need a damn massage. Here's Massage Monday:
If you need a damn massage but are finding it cost prohibitive, see if there's a damn massage school in your area. Find out how much it costs for student clinic. In Tucson, at DIHA, student clinic was $25 an hour. Skip student clinic. Put your name on the "practice client board". Say something to the effect that you need a student who has their own table to come to you and that you'll pay. They'll all call you because they're all starving. Try out a few and keep the one you like.
If you have kids and a partner, one watches the kids, the other gets a massage, then you switch. If you have kids and no partner, maybe you can swap with a friend who also has kids or maybe you could interest your kids in a little Baby Einstein for awhile or something. Anyway, once you find a student you like, make a standing appointment. It's in your home, on your time, and it's inexpensive! When they graduate, get a new one! (haha) Even if the school is up to an hour away, some students commute, so check anyway.
Going to go pout some more, Ruth!

9 comments:

sophanne said...

DMV- hate it. Target stories-like them vicariously-if I had to be there, not so much.

Bloglines-slow city (I've noticed- it takes a little bit for them to come through. A couple of my posts were close together-maybe I crashed the system)

TdF KAL- You got farther than many others and they look really good.

Lace- I'm going for the pie shawl on the Lorna's Laces wrapper. The only parts I'll have to think about is a yarn over and the mental construction of how it will all work in the end. I thought maybe just once I'd try the easy thing and work my way into the hard ones- see how that works out for me.

Susan said...

I'm in a pissy mood too and could use a damn massage. I hate the DMV, too. I'm not helping you with this, huh?

uberstrickenfrau said...

When you said you rolled your eyes till you could see your brain made me think of this joke, what is the last thing a bug sees when it smacks your windshield? It's butt.
Hey, I drove through Parker, on the freeway, and I kept thinking about calling you for jolly's but I was afride you'd think I was stalker and I didn't want to freak you out or ,worse, make you feel obligated to entertain me or something! So, I decided to wait till next year and then I would for sure ring you up and invade your space! :O)

Yarnhog said...

So, you're totally right and all, especially about the dog vs money question (I HATE it when people touch my non-wrapped food after touching money), but I think you might not be cut out for dealing with the idiot public. You have to either be an idiot yourself, or be really, really patient.

As for the DMV, after my debacle a few years ago (where they suspended my license five years after I had a seizure-I had been driving the entire five years, seizure free), I avoid them like, well, every other government agency.

Buy yarn. You'll feel better.

knitnzu said...

So when you saw your brain, what was it like??

Faith! said...

The only good thing about customers like "crazy banana lady" is when you get to refer to them later to a coworker. Y'all are bored and cranky and say "remember that banana lady? she was ka-razy!" and then you laugh for no reason. Hope your week gets better!

Nell said...

Retail is a tough job. Customers are crazy. And you just have to smile and take it. YUCK!

I bet Perfume would be a great book. The ending of the movie just felt really silly. Maybe they changed it for the movie.

Chris said...

Ye gads. How maddening! Well, your sock is looking good anyway! :)

kmkat said...

Retail is way tough. Lots of crazy customers out there -- I may have even been one on (I hope) extremely rare occasions. The only thing worse than dealing with such a crazy is BEING such a crazy.