Have you ever had a crappy day and your life may not be where you want it to be and your feeling all sorry for yourself and then you see something that makes you realize you're just a big, stupid baby and you've actually got it really good?
A couple of weeks ago, my friend Rachel was having a really shitty day, car was giving out (again), big fight with husband, car died and because of big fight she calls friend to help her instead. I showed up with caffeine and chocolate (I used to have a car that never worked and always chose the worst moments to break hard, so I knew how she was feeling) and it took a couple hours but we got her car where it needed to be (mechanic). On the way there, following her, we were at a stop sign and next to my van was a big truck. Driving the truck was a woman with a bald head and two shunts (one in her neck and one behind her ear). I thought, "This is a shitty day but DAMN this is a good day!" (By the way, Rachel was not being a big, stupid baby that day, I'm talking about me and my mood yesterday.)
So my mood yesterday. And lately. Poor pitiful me. blah,blah,blah. Then I read Cara's blog today and some links. Annie Modesitt's husband has been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma . I'm a baby. Things here are just fine. She's come up with a beautiful pattern (does she have any other kind?) to raise money to help with expenses. Give and give big.
My husband worked on golf courses for 15 years. Since we married, he goes to the dermatologist every 6 months to get sketchy things burned off. I live in fear of the day when they find one that a little burn-off won't fix. His dermatologist told him he needed to change careers. That's what started our quest for a new location/job. (Not that FedEx driver has him in the sun any less!)
About ten years ago, I was really bummed with my life. I had no plan and had just moved to Tucson from Ft. Huachuca, so all my friends were an hour and a half away. I had a job that was fun, was too easy, made tons of cash (legally), and yet wasn't really something you told people you did when first meeting them (lots of misconceptions). (We'll talk about that job another day.) I hated Tucson, hated the area of town I'd moved to and was really depressed.
Then I read a book. The book was called "Children of the Flames". It's about the twins at Auschwitz and the experiments done on them by Josef Mengele. It's non-fiction, told by the actual survivors. I realized how easy I had things and I pulled my head out of my ass and started making a plan. I still have that book. Whenever I get like I've been feeling I go and look at it. Especially the part where two of the boys (brothers) finally make it home after Liberation and there's no home left. They were the only survivors in their entire city.
I'm grateful. I'm grateful for my family (my mom and my brother and my dad) and I'm even more grateful for my family...
Everything is A-ok.
Going to go pull my head out, Ruth!