Saturday, June 30, 2007
Crack Me Up Saturday
While rooting around in old boxes for pic's of my brother on his birthday, I found my student ID from my senior year at Clovis High (Go Cougars!).
As you can see, I was really into..... different music. The Sex Pistols, TSOL, Oingo Boingo,
The Toy Dolls (anyone remember The Toy Dolls?).
People used to ask me how I got my hair to stay that way. It was easy, really. I washed it every morning (the good old days) and while blow-drying it, I'd tip my head over for the last 30-60 seconds of drying. Then I'd flip my head up and spray with hairspray. Viola! No gel, no mousse, not even that much hairspray. Took about 5 minutes. Even back then, I always figured anything that took more then 5 minutes getting me out the door, didn't need to be fussed with.
Goood Times, Ruth!
Friday, June 29, 2007
Apparently, I ROCK!
(SHIT!! This is supposed to be a button. Why can't I figure this crap out! It's not rocket science, right??)
(This is the bath mat from One Skein. I'm making it to replace the disgusting, unwashable rug that's currently in front of our kitchen sink. Seriously, it's so gross, I won't even show you a picture of it. I'm using Lion Brand Cotton)
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Self-Pity and Gratitude
Have you ever had a crappy day and your life may not be where you want it to be and your feeling all sorry for yourself and then you see something that makes you realize you're just a big, stupid baby and you've actually got it really good?
A couple of weeks ago, my friend Rachel was having a really shitty day, car was giving out (again), big fight with husband, car died and because of big fight she calls friend to help her instead. I showed up with caffeine and chocolate (I used to have a car that never worked and always chose the worst moments to break hard, so I knew how she was feeling) and it took a couple hours but we got her car where it needed to be (mechanic). On the way there, following her, we were at a stop sign and next to my van was a big truck. Driving the truck was a woman with a bald head and two shunts (one in her neck and one behind her ear). I thought, "This is a shitty day but DAMN this is a good day!" (By the way, Rachel was not being a big, stupid baby that day, I'm talking about me and my mood yesterday.)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
It's Backwards Day!!
I hate Backwards Day.
So far today:
In the shower, I put the conditioner in my hair before the shampoo.
I put the tea bags in the sun tea jar and then put it in the fridge instead of out in the sun.
I couldn't find my car keys until I got in the car (which is in our driveway, not in the garage) and there they were, in the ignition from yesterday's adventures.
I tried to put both my contact lenses in one eye.
I put T's clothes in D2's drawers and D2's clothes in T's.
I had to rip out the sock I started yesterday (don't talk and read charts).
This is what happens when I actually get a good night's sleep!
Off to fumble through the rest of my day, Ruth!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Dear John Letter
Then as you got a little older, you turned into this mean bastard that used to beat the shit out of me on a daily basis. You’d punch me if you didn’t get the first bowl of the sugary cereal our parents rarely bought. You’d punch me if you didn’t get the last bowl. You’d hit me for not waking you on Sat. mornings and you’d miss Scooby Doo. You’d hit me if I did wake you because you wanted to sleep. You once hit me out of the blue and when I asked why, you said it was because I was your sister and not your brother. You’d make me touch the hot-wire in the pasture to see if it was on or not.
(see me leaning away from you! haha)
BUT, you were always, always, ALWAYS there for me when I needed you. You never let anyone else lay a finger on me, talk bad about or to me. You taught me to be tough. To never take shit from anyone (including you). To never give up. To never, Never say “Uncle”. (If I did, you’d hit me for being a pussy.)
Remember when we almost set the back field on fire? We’d found those black worm fireworks in the kitchen junk drawer and went out back to set them off. They wouldn’t go (we didn’t realize they were probably duds) and we put some dry grass on top of them and lit it. They still didn’t work but the fire we set went racing down the hill towards that field. That 50 acre field of tall summer-dried grass. I looked at you , you looked at me, we both looked past the spreading fire to that field. You yelled, “HOSE” and went racing after the fire. I ran to turn the hose on but the damn thing wasn’t attached to the spigot. I yelled, “NOT ATTACHED!” You were stomping on the fire, we switched places. You got the hose attached and doused me and the flames. We spent about an hour kicking dirt and other grass onto the blackened ground. Breathing hard and laughing nervously at our stupidity. If our parents knew, they never said anything!
With that long blonde hair and your steel blue eyes, you got all the chicks! You were quite a dog but when you settled on the one you wanted, you were done with all that.
Monday, June 25, 2007
You're Not Supposed To Talk About....
So before I go and lose all my readers (hope not!) let's start with
Massage Monday:
Another seated stretch.... As always, you want to take these into a stretch, not into pain. Sit with your back in the chair and both feet on the floor. Take you right ankle and cross it over your left knee ("sittin' like a man" as my gma used to say). Now just lean your body forward (you want to lean from the waist, not from your shoulders). You should feel a great stretch on the outside of your hip, going into your butt. This can also be done standing, just lean on a wall, bring your ankle to your slightly bent other knee and lean forward. As always, rinse and repeat on the other side. I love this stretch!
On to our subject.
I got a lot of cool mail last week. First there was this...
That's one skein of Knitting Notions Sock Yarn (420 yards in Midnight Blue) and two skeins of Knitting Notions Lace Yarn (388 yards each in Thyme color). 726 yards of laceweight, wtf am I gonna do with that?? That's what happens when you shop at midnite! Don't worry, I already have ideas for it. Do you see the needle in the Midnight yarn? The war against my knitting ennui has begun.
Then I got this big box from my swap buddy at a yarn swap I signed up for over at Swap-bot...
There's two skeins of Lion Brand Wool-ease (which is perfect because I was going to go get some to make my MIL some slippers) and two skeins of Red Heart SuperSaver. She also put the yarn in a lovely basket and added a big tea bag of sorts (I'm guessing it's tub tea, it's huge!) and these books...
Best. swap-buddy. ever!
Then I received another big envelope....
Yarn Pirate, Rain color. Gorgeous!
Then there was this....
The yarn is some hand spun/hand-dyed yarn I'd won on a blog contest. It was a blog I'd never been to and I found it through a link from a blog I adore. Truthfully, most new blogs I read, I find through other blogs linking to contests.
So the woman sends me the yarn and a book about Jesus. I can't begin to express how much that Pissed. Me. Off. And before anyone starts gettin' on me about talking behind someone's back, I've already emailed her. The email I sent was, I think, very diplomatic. It went a little something like this: "Thank you for the yarn. It's very pretty and I really think you did a good job with it. That being said, I was rather upset and very disappointed with the book you sent with it. We ARE NOT Christians. My husband's an atheist and I follow Taoism. I can't help but wonder how you would feel if you'd won some yarn on my blog and I sent it along with a copy of "The God Delusion"?
I'll probably be talking about this on my blog come Monday. I won't be linking to you or using your name. Just giving you a heads up.
Again, great job on the yarn. I hope you keep doing that and knitting. Don't really know what else to say. By for now, Ruth"
So here's my thoughts. I don't care what religion you are and you shouldn't care what mine is. I grew up baptist. My family went to church three times a week. Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night was youth night (anyone out there remember AWANA? It's like boy/girl scouts for church). I loved it as a kid, and that's not belittling anyone that still loves it. I'm just saying, some of my best memories are from vacation bible school, AWANA olympics, and church summer camp!
When I was around 12, things started happening in my life and at my church that made me take a different direction. I never understood the philosophy that God had this unconditional love.... unless you were gay, unless you had (or thought about having) an abortion, unless a hundred other things that made the love so conditional. At church I was seeing a lot of hypocritical people who would say one thing at church and then go commit criminal acts. Or just plain exclusionary acts against new members that made them uncomfortable (like the young couple with a baby - she had lots of piercings in her ears and he had a mohawk and the ice cream social the church had been pumping for weeks was not even mentioned that day).
I started doing my own research. That, a divorce, and a mom smart enough to realize that if I did my own research, I could make my own decisions. My decision was that church and Christianity as a whole were not for me.
I've had people of faith (many different ones) ask how we will raise our children. DAMN that's presumptuous! I tell them all the same thing. We will teach them right from wrong. We will show them by the way we live. We also have an entire shelf on our bookcases that's devoted to religion. There's a Bible, a Book of Mormon, a Koran, books on Eastern and East Indian religions, and many others. When they are old enough and have questions we can't answer to their satisfaction, they can do their own research and make their own decisions.
It's like tattoos. The only people who care if you have tattoos (of which I have six) are people who don't have them. I agree with Whoopi Goldberg, "Organized religion is bad for you. It says we are and you are not." But I don't push my views. And I won't allow others to push their views on me. I find it offensive, rude, and unbelievably presumptuous. I understand that a big part of Christianity is testifying, spreading the word of God. (Acts 9:15 " Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the sons of Israel." That's from memory.) I've always held the belief that the best way to spread the word of god (any god) is to live the best life you can. To lead through example is better then a thousand words, even those in books sent through the mail.
Hoping you all stick around, Ruth!
P.S. Incidentally, she hasn't emailed me back and her blog is gone.
The Color Of Mystery
Your Eyes Should Be Violet |
What's hidden behind your eyes: A quiet passion |
Friday, June 22, 2007
Waxing Nostalgic
First off, I don't actually have a Berroco Suede addiction. I have an ebay yarn store. Don't get too excited, I don't' make any money off it. I usually sell just enough every month to pay for the store. (My whole freakin' life is a Catch-22.) I never take yarn out of it for myself, but this time, what the hell!
Yarnhog asked how the waxing went for Rachel. I called her last night to see (as I'd planned on doing) and she's very happy with the results. And Chicken Knits (who, by the way, is having a destashing sale. So if someone wants to get me some Red Cherry Hill yarn. Just sayin'.) said she'd used Nads once and got black and blue marks for her troubles. Rachel had some of those, too. Scary!
Knitnzu (who has a great link to some sexy, feminine knits) said she'd never waxed. It's not as bad as it sounds. It hurts pretty bad the first time, because you really don't know what to expect. After the first time, it's not so bad. It's totally worth it! Not having to shave or anything for weeks on end is worth the trouble. The only thing I'll NEVER wax again is my underarms! That hurt worse then even the bikini line. And your underarm hair grows so unevenly that after you go through that pain, in a few days, you've got to shave again anyway. It hurts worse then a full Brazilian (that's were they take away all the pubic hair.) Also, called a Kojak. I tried that one once. Yeah. That hurt. And humiliating?? Ohmigod. After they do the front they make you get on your hands and knees so they can do the back. The anus. TMI. Sorry. Some friends and I were talking about it once and my friend said, that of course they had to do the back. She said you couldn't do the drapes and leave the valance!
Yarnhog also said she'd used an Epilady once in the 80's. Epilady is a little evil machine with rotating, I don't know, smooth, vertical disks (?) on top. These disks grab and rip out the hairs. Sort of like waxing only instead of doing whole strips of hair at a time, you're doing little 1" patches as you move it around. It. takes. FOREVER. Whereas, waxing is over relatively quickly. I have a little story about Epilady.
So there I was....
A friend of mine worked the Lancome counter at Macy's when we were in high school. It was pretty cool because she was always hookin' me up with the samples and all the "gift with purchase" things. (I used to wear makeup in the 80's. Wore enough of it that I never really felt the need to wear it again.) Anyway, the store needed a demonstrator for this new product called Epilady. She got me the job. You think being a demonstrator for perfume is bad?? (You'll notice the first half of the job is "demon", right?)
Anyway, it was my 3rd day on the job and it was a Friday evening. I'm standing there in my Sandra Garrett Modulars, holding the dreaded machine and offering to demonstrate on the arms of passersby. This big, drunk, incredibly hairy, biker guy and his buddies walk up to me and start joking about it. They'd seen the ads on TV and were daring each other to try it. I was just about to explain something when the hairy man grabbed the Epilady out of my hand and put it on his arm. His very. VERY. Hairy. Arm.
The thing I was about to explain is that with hair that thick, you're supposed to trim it first to a manageable length otherwise it'll just get tangled and stuck to your arm. Which it did. That huge, macho guy started screaming like a girl and crying like a baby. I reached over and turned the thing off and then I had to locate some small scissors to cut it out of the hair on his arm. He was bleeding (only a little) and making a scene (only a lot). His friends (and I) were laughing their asses off. He pretty much ruined the Epilady and was talking about suing. I explained that to sue, he'd have to call the police to file a report and they'd have to do a breathalyzer test on him. He decided he was fine.
I don't know why I lied to him like that. It's not like I cared about protecting Macy's interests. Or mine, so much. It's probably more the fact that, growing up in California, I was irritated by all the superfluous litigation. Also, I quit the job that night.
By the way, it took me about 15 minutes to find a link with pictures about those Sandra Garrett clothes. (5 minutes of that was just trying to rememeber what they were called!) It's only a link to an ebay auction. So, in a few days, the pictures will probably be gone. Apparently, those clothes are among the many things that we shall not speak of concerning the 1980's.
Remembering the ugly, fondly, Ruth!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
What Are Friends For!
This was the scene set in my basement last nite. My friend, Rachel, is going on vacation this weekend and wanted a bikini wax before she left. After a failed attempt using something called Nads, she asked if I could help. I wax my legs most of the time and have some experience with a wax pot. (Nads?? Seriously? Why would anyone name a beauty product after a man's testicles?)
white-ish
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Brain Soup
I have so much crap swirling around in my head I can't think straight. "Shit for Brains" keeps propping to the forefront. I don't feel clever, angry or even frustrated anymore. Just exhausted.
I got a mood-lifting package in the mail yesterday which may solve my paralyzed-June Sockamania dilemma. Now I just have to start.
Starting anything right now seems a hill I just want to sit at the bottom of, look up at, and say, "How pretty". Maybe I'll start climbing later. I've lost some mojo and I need to kick myself in the ass and just get some things done. Make some decisions. That's it. Here I go....
sigh.
I got this amazing email yesterday from BeckyKnitsToo:
Ruth- I have 2 skeins of Gems Topaz (the same color my first liner was) that I'll offer up to anyone who wants it to make a liner- You could offer it on your blog and I'll send it to someone willing to make one- get more people involved. It was leftover sale yarn-perfect for the project- becky
She even sent a picture...
If you want to take on this assignment, email me (Ruth AT 5elementknitr DOT com) and I'll put you in touch with her.
Thanks, Becky, you're a peach!
Off to look at molehills and mountains, Ruth!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
What Month Is It?
Holy Shnickey's! Can y'all believe it's already June? That June is already half over?? Where did the time go?
I haven't even started the June Sockamania socks. Partly just paralysis through analysis. I can't decide which yarn I want to use. And I want to learn toe-up but figure I should finish a top-down sock first (for some reason). Not being able to decide which yarn to use... I keep thinking, "What if I use this yarn and then next month's pattern comes out and this yarn would've been better suited for that pattern?" It's so lame. I'm so lame.
I was able to score a spot in the Yarn Pirate's Sock Club. Which means that I am going to do some serious de-stashing to make up the money I spent. I got this great idea from Chicken Knits. Go to her site and see what's left! She's a lot faster then I am. My stuff will probably be up sometime next... who knows. I'll keep y'all posted.
Tippa Tuesday:
Again, Tracy-the-knit-guru's tips are all I got.
She says when washing handknits, all she does is fill the washing machine with water, put in the appropriate amount of Kookaburra (or similar stuff), put in the knits, give a light swish with her hands, let soak. Then you just set the machine to spin (no agitation) to get most of the water out. Remove items, reshape, air dry.
Here's about the funniest celeb-made video I've seen on the 'net. A chick at work told me about it. OK, I suck at this stuff. I can't seem to "embed" the video like I want so just go here.
Also, is it just me or is there a problem with the paragraph breaks on this site? I usually just go and hit enter twice to give a little space between the paragraphs. When I hit "Publish Post", it either gives me huge spaces or (more often and more frustrating) gives no spaces btw paragraphs. I wish I knew computers. I don't.
Off to look through my stash, Ruth!
Monday, June 18, 2007
1 Down, 199 To Go
Becky Knits sent the first helmet liner! Here's pic's of all the prizes. Becky, you get to pick which prize you'd like to have...
Fearless Fibers Sock Yarn: Yarn details: This is a top quality 100% SUPERWASH merino wool sock weight yarn. The gauge is 32 to 38 stitches to 4 inches on US #0-2 needles. The yarn was created and stored in a smoke-free/pet-free environment.This yarn comes in an extra-large 4-ounce skein, which is plenty of yarn for just about any pair of socks imaginable, including a pair of knee-socks or a pair socks for a very large man's foot!
Peppermint
Sand and Sun
Wisteria (This one's out of the running. Congrat's Becky!)
Duck Season (this is DK weight, I believe)
Knit 2 Together book
Some lovely handspun I scored on ebay.
Neither of these crappy photos does the colors justice. They are lovely spring greens/yellows/blues. Very light and pretty colors. The seller described the yarn thusly...
"four skeins of my hand spun merino wool yarn. I helped shear this sheep, and washed the wool, carded it, dyed it with Kool-Aid, and spun it and plied it. It is between a fingering and sport weight. The colors are delicate, blue and yellowish green.There are about 350 yards here, enough for socks or a wide lace scarf. Since it is hand spun the thickness of the yarn is not perfectly even."
(Did I just say "thusly"?? Is that even a word?)
This fantastic bag. I have one and found another one on ebay for this contest. It's the perfect size for knitting projects and the pockets on the front are quite handy! I am using mine as my regular purse now (of course, complete with a knitting project at all times!). It's chocolate brown and pink.
Another great project bag.
APPROX. DIMENSIONS :Laying Flat:13 x 10 x 3
APPROX. STRAP DROP :Built in Handle
INNER MATERIAL:Nylon
Another great book!
Let me know what you decide. Email me at Ruth AT 5elementknitr DOT com and give me your selection and your address. And thanks again for the great helmet liner!
On to Massage Monday:
How's your desk set-up? Are you back in your chair or on the edge of the seat? Are you feet able to touch the ground? (I'm 5'2" so that is usually a problem for me.) If you are at the edge of your seat, your back is in a constant state of contraction the whole time as it is keeping you from falling over. Bring a small throw pillow or a towel from home and fill the space. Your back will realize it can relax and you can eventually work your way back into your chair. I hate those pre-made lumbar supports. Every body is different and they are not adjustable. Besides, I'm all about the cheap and free and most everyone has throw pillows and towels at home.
As for not touching the ground, there are many small stools available for this. There's even this one or this one. Or, again, another throw pillow on the floor!
Please spread the word about my contest!
Thanks, Ruth!