A couple weeks ago, we took Dave's parents out to dinner for his mom's birthday. The restaurant we went to had this really great crusty bread and it reminded me of a recent conversation....
My friend, Phil and I were talking about food and I mentioned that I had recently had my first ever BLT and it was a revelation! See, before I met Dave and his family, I hated bacon. Seriously, didn't like the stuff At. ALL. I used to say, "Bacon and coffee - how can stuff smell so good and taste so bad!" But Dave's mom puts bacon in everything and I've grown to rather like it. (Still hate coffee.) So the BLT was amazing and I was telling Phil how I was completely obsessed with them now and he described the perfect BLT... Bread that's big, thick and a little bit rough, thick pepper crusted bacon, beefsteak tomato. Oh. Hell. YEAH!
So, dinner with Dave's parents. They are 80 and 81 and don't hear very well so I leaned over to Dave and, pointing toward that lovely bread at our table, joked, "I like my men like I like my bread - Big, Thick, and a little bit Rough." He immediately quipped back, "I like my women like I like my coffee - Ground up and stored in the freezer." I cracked up!
Later, after we'd dropped off his parents and were driving home, we made up more stupid shit like that. The coffee one is an old one but we came up with new ones. The kids were sitting way in the back of the minivan and were talking amongst themselves, so they couldn't hear us. It was just as well since we degenerated into grosser and stupider ones as we went along.
I'll spare you the baser ones but here's two that I came up with...
I like my men like I like my trucks - jacked up and ready to ride.
I like my men like I like my luau pigs - trussed up and roasting on a spit.
The pig one was the stupidest one of all but these dumb-ass word games that Dave and I get into get a bit competitive and that was the only thing I could think of! I'd love to hear what y'all can come up with so next time I will be better prepared.
We. Are. LAME, Ruth!