Friday, December 20, 2013

Q is for Quip

Dave has a wicked-quick sense of humor.  He's clever and lightning fast with his jokes and barbs. 

The boys have really picked up his timing and humor! 

Dave's sense of humor and how the boys are picking it up

A few months ago, Dave told me that he'd explained to the boys what "that's what she said" means. 
Trevor had his first successful use about a week later at a restaurant:

Waitress sets down plate of carrot sticks and ranch dressing.
Dave: You need to eat at least two. Pick the big ones.
T: That's what she said.

 He's 12.
I'm so proud!

D2's humor is usually more linear:

At dinner, we somehow got on the subject of the new Carrie movie and the "many forms of being psychic". (These are the conversations that come up at our table.) D2 (the 10 year old) said there were at least two forms. T (the 12 year old) asked what they were. D2 said, "Knowing people's minds and moving things with your brain."
T: TelePATHy and telekinesis
ME: Telepathy [telling him the correct pronunciation]
D2: T, read my mind. What am I thinking about?
T: Tacos
D2: Nope. OK, use your mind to move your glass. Really concentrate.
T: [squeezes his eyes shut and gives it a shot] I can't do it. I can only move it with my hands.
D2: If you think about it, our brains tell our hands what to do, so that means our brains are moving the glass. 
Wow. We all have telekinesis. Who knew?
D2 is getting a mouth on him, btw.  Dave doesn't help by cracking up at the smartiness.  D2's mouth may get him in some pretty decent trouble pretty soon.  I'm so used to him being a smartass that even when he's not, I think he is...
We had some laundry on the bed and D2 came in to say goodnight.  He says, "Is that a bra?"
ME: Yes. 
He picks it up, holds it to his chest and shimmies around, laughing.
ME: That's upside-down, Stupid.
D2:  I'm not stupid, I'm not a girl.
ME: What did you just say to me?!
D2: [looks to the left, scanning his brain for what he just said.  When he finds it, his eyes fly open wide.] No!  That's not what I said... what I meant!  I meant I'm not a girl, so I don't know how a bra goes!
I was laughing throughout all this.  Here's where the written word could save some misunderstanding.  I heard a comma (I'm not stupid, I'm not a girl), he said a period (I'm not stupid.  I'm not a girl.)  Get it?
Don't worry too much about me calling the boy Stupid.  Our family is very sink-or-swim with the quips.  D2 is crazy smart and he knows it.  Although, sometimes he does the dumbest things...
Recently, he was in his bathroom, about to take a shower.  I heard the water running into the tub still and then I heard a huge thump.  I rushed in there, and D2 was standing naked in the tub with the water running and his lip bleeding pretty good.
ME: What happened?
D2: I slipped.
Apparently, he has this ritual of getting into the tub before he turns the water to the shower.  He then leans out and puts his hand on the strip of countertop that runs behind the toilet.  He leans out further to look at himself in the mirror.  This time, his hand slipped and he face planted onto the toilet!  (The boys always have the toilet lids down when not in use - the solid lid and the seat lid.)  I started cracking up!  I told him to turn the water off.  He came out of the tub and I wrapped him in a towel and cleaned up his lip.  He also had a decent dent in his upper arm from hitting the corner of the countertop. 
I asked why he was looking in the mirror, and he said it was just something he always does.  I looked at him while I cleaned up his lip and said, "And we're never doing it again, are we?"  He nodded.  I said, "You are lucky you didn't break a tooth!"
Later, he came into our room while I was explaining to Dave what had happened.  Dave asked him, "Why do you look in the mirror like that?"  D2 said, "Because I'm so handsome!" and then he turned tail and ran out of the room, laughing!
My whole family enjoys word play.  Dave and I play little word games with each other all the time.  The kids are starting to get in on this too...
A few nights ago, T was sad about getting in trouble for some thing or other.  He came in to say goodnight and was still all mopey.  I reverted to toddler T and said, "Good night, Sweet Pea."  He replied, "Good night, Edamame."  So clever!
My family is punny, Ruth!

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