D is for Delusional

Last year I made a huge list of knitting goals I wanted to achieve. I thought it was ambitious but doable since I have this job where I sit on my ass for 40 hours a week and have lots of knitting time.

Then I started school and my 40 hour week turned into a 70 hour week. I still sit on my ass and I've gained back every ounce of weight I lost about a year and a half ago. I've started working out again and I'm going to keep going until I hit my goal weight.

I joined the 11 in 2011 group on Ravelry. The 10 in 2010 group helped me focus my goals and I figured 11 in 2011 would do the same. It did somewhat but it wasn't until I joined the Starfleet Fiber Arts Corp that I really kicked it into gear. Apparently, a small bit of competition and compensation (points and promotions) was all it needed to get me knitting here and there.

I completed about 40 projects last year!

It was definitely the year of hats (and yes, they are still my nemesis). I made (or finished, if you count the UFO's) 3 pairs of socks. I got all my xmas knitting done on time and I even made my first charity projects!

I didn't achieve all my knitting goals from last year but they were lofty and insane so I'll try to do better this year. That's the thought I had in mind when I sat down to write out my goals. You may notice that a lot of these are the same as last year although some are now in a tasty WIP form. I was going to try to make more reasonable goals this year but apparently there’s just no reasoning with me….


WIPs/UFO

1. Gift Blanket
2. owls
3. Poet’s Pullover
4. Aleita
5. Vivienne
6. Thorpe Mittens
7. Washington Square Vest
8. Icarus
9. Habu lace scarf
10. Bamboozell


My Designs
1. Cat bed
2. Yellow scarf
3. Vest (handspun)
4. Reunion Shrug
5. Mitteny thing
6. Tart set
7. Habu Cowl
8. Socks
9. Colorwork Sweater


Blankets
1. Hemlock
2. Boy squares (2 each)
3. Girasole
4. Saffron Cables


Socks
1. Baudelaire - UFO
2. Dave’s Socks - WIP
3. Hex Mesh - WIP
4. Saxon the City - WIP
5. Gothic Temptress - Casbah
6. Naniboujou - Knit Picks
7. Abbey kit
8. Lakeside - my hydrangea yarn
9. Skew - Coraline yarn
10. Ugly Boot Socks - Tucan and white esprit
11. Tardis Socks - black/blue striped yarn
12. Swirl Socks - WIP
13. RoboSocks - skeindalous set


Hats
1. Bounce
2. Dorothea
3. Hannah
4. Turn a Square
5. Marsan Watchcap
6. Trilobite
7. Sutro
8. Caulfield
9. Claudia


New Sweaters
1. Arbor - Lamb’s Pride Cotton Fleece
2. Pioneer - Lorna’s Laces Worsted
3. #77 Vine Lace Top Down Cardigan - Knit Picks bulky
4. Whisper Cardigan - cashmere
5. #106 Shawl-collared Nipped-waist Cardigan - brown silk and wool
6. #90 Chic Cables and Lace Cowl Neck - overdyed Eco wool


Crochet
1. Organizer boxes (WIP)


Colorwork
1. Swirly Hat and Matching Mittens
2. Sugarplum Pullover


Neck
1. Flutter
2. #107 cowl
3. Pretty Thing
4. Darkside Cowl


Miscellaneous
1. No Sweat Pants
2. Felted Coasters
3. Kitchen Set


Gifts
1. Scarf for T

2. Scarf for D2
3. 4 more ornaments (8 really, 4 for each boy)


Goals
1. Assign yarn to suggested projects
2. Stash Only (except one planned purchase)
3. Use rolled sock yarn first - I read in an EZ book that she feels that rolled yarn loses its elasticity if it’s rolled for too long and I have about 8 skeins that have been rolled for years!
4. At least one pattern out of my copious pattern books (Gothic Socks?).
5. At least one pattern out of my copious pattern magazines (Whisper Cardigan?).
6. Hands on needles every day.
7. Knit with yarn that’s been gifted to me.
8. Dye every month.
9. Stick to knitting “schedule” (this isn’t set in stone but I like to follow this…. Monday - hats; Tuesday - socks; Wednesday - socks; Thursday - dealer’s choice; Friday - sweaters; Saturday - sweaters; Sunday - WIP’s)

Wow. I’m completely delusional.

I was going to link all these but then I remembered I wanted to actually finish some of these goals instead of spending the year making links.

Happy in my delusion, Ruth!

C is for Conversation

The boys were in the back seat, having a conversation about scary things. D2, as usual, was talking about zombies (he likes them as much as I do!)

T: Can they be seen during the day?

D2: Of course they can.

T: No, they can't. They can only come out at night.

D2: No, you idiot, that's vampires.

Me (in the front seat, trying not to laugh too hard): D2, don't call your brother an idiot.

Overheard this conversation between a large teenage boy (17?) and his dad. I was leaving the library and they were walking in....
Dad: You don't know. I'm OUT there, I know.
Teenager [said with disdain]: You work for the government. That's not "out there". That's a whole 'nother world.


Made me crack up!

When we were in Nebraska last year for that game we went to, we spent our last morning in a wonderful diner next to the motel we stayed at. Next to our booth, was a table full of women. It was middle-aged mom, grandma, and 2 young women. They also had a little boy with them. He looked to be about 5 years old but they had him crammed in a restaurant high chair as he clearly had some development issues. He was being a very good kid. He wasn't being loud or throwing food or anything like that. He was quietly talking to/amusing himself while he ate his pancakes.

We heard the girls encouraging mom to finish the boy's pancakes:

Girls: He's done, go ahead and finish them!

Mom: Y'all are going to make me as fat as that woman we saw at Walmart.

Now, mom is no shrinking violet in the weight department herself! In fact, the only one at that table who wouldn't be considered clinically obese would be the boy in question. I looked at Dave with a questioning look. He whispered to me, "In Nebraska, 'fat' is a relative term". (Not that Dave and I are in any great shape ourselves, right?)

A couple minutes later, we see the boy looking up and down and saying, "I don't see him, Grandma? Where is he?" She ignores him for a bit and so he keeps asking her. Finally, this conversation takes place...

Boy: Grandma, you said God was up, but I don't SEE him.

Grandma: You don't see him because you aren't being a good boy.

I looked at Dave, momentarily aghast, but then perfectly calm, ".....and so it begins....."

When I told my friend this tale, she said, "That poor kid. So, if he remembers the conversation, and takes it to heart, then for his entire LIFE, he'll never be a good boy, because he will never SEE God." I never even thought of that!! I wonder how "good" grandma is since you KNOW that old bat doesn't "see" him either.

A couple of months ago, Dave and I were watching American Dad. It's this episode where the main character (Stan) is organizing a wedding. The engaged couple are negotiating some marital terms when the woman says, "And we have to visit my parents once a week." Dave made a small sound - half shock, half disgust. My head whipped around to look at him.

Me: Oh, ha-ha.

Him: What?

Me: What was that sound for??

Him: I'm sure he's going to do that. ["he" being the groom]

Me (eyebrows shooting to the ceiling, mouth dropping open; mouth closing, eye's narrowing; then speaking verrryyy slooowly, so my head doesn't explode): Are you trying to be funny?

Him: What?

Me: Bitch, I've been doing that for TWELVE YEARS.

He really had no earthly clue what he was saying! He was so horrified about that "poor man" having to go to his in-laws every week, yet he didn't realize that that's what I've been doing pretty much since we met! WTF??

Men are so clueless, Ruth!