Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I is for Insecure

T is in choir. He heard about it last Sep. and wanted to join. The day before the first rehearsal, he came home and said, “I don’t want to do it.” I asked what happened and he said that the choir from last year sang at assembly and he just didn’t want to be in it anymore. I asked, “Why? Were they really bad or really good?” He said they were really good. I said, “Are you nervous or scared you won’t be that good?” and he nodded. I told him, “T. You should still try it. The beauty of choir is that, even if you aren’t that great, they teach you how to be better! And who knows, maybe you’re already pretty good! The thing is, you’ll never know if you don’t at least try it.”

He was still skeptical so I told him a little secret, “Little Man, you have music in your heritage. Oma [my mom] plays piano and organ and she was in choir all through high school and college! She even has a record of her college choir and she has this really great solo in it. Her dad used to write music and had several songs published! I played flute in elementary school and jr. high. Music is already a part of you!”

That convinced him.

I said he should go to the first two rehearsals and if he didn’t like it he didn’t have to participate. Then we had a little life talk… I told him how awful it would be to go through life being too scared to try things he really had an interest in. I explained that without taking risks, he’ll miss out on a lot of fun and all the things he may truly love! I also grounded it in a touch of reality that there were going to be things he tried that he wouldn’t like, sometimes even things where he’ll fall flat on his face! But without trying different things, he’ll never know which way he wants to go in life. (I left out the part about me not liking the flute and how I really/still wanted to learn the piano.)

He went to the first practice, had a blast and is still in choir. He isn’t crazy about getting up so early to go to practice before school, but he’s still with it and I’m very proud of him!

T is the one to the left of the really blonde kid in the front row. Sorry for the craptastic pic's, we are still trying to figure out our new camera. Here's T and D2 with T's choir teacher. (D2 is so silly!)

I have this friend who is absolutely fearless. She thought it would be fun to go sky-diving and she went. She has over 100 jumps now. That led to a job in aviation and then she thought, "That looks like fun!" and got her pilot's license! As far as I can tell, if she thinks something would be interesting, she just up and tries it. That's crazy to me! I'm so jealous!

It takes me years to get to a point where I'm comfortable enough to try something I want to do. It took me 2 years to call the massage school to even see if they take the GI Bill. A simple yes or no and I could've started my life a lot earlier! Of course it was yes and I signed up a week before my class started. So lame!

I've recently conquered (well, attempted anyway) a knitting fear. I've said for years that I'm going to learn fair-isle. I have 2 projects on my list for this year that involve fair isle. They are both small-ish and I finished the first one last week. It came out OK, not perfect by any stretch but here it is....

(Wow, my new camera really does suck ass! Anyone know how to work a Nikon Cool pix?)

Anyway, I want my kids to be fearless and try anything and everything that interests them! Not in a flaky, can't-decide-what-I-want-to-do-with-my-life kind of way, but in a I'm-finding-what-I-love way. As I talked about in the last post, I'm trying to make some changes to set the example. More on that in the next post....

Fearlessly diving into the breach, Ruth!


Kristyn said...

Love how you explained this all to him. It is so true and I hope to teach my son not to be afraid to try as well.

Anonymous said...

I have a Nikon CoolPix and it works great. There are a gazillion different settings -- I think maybe yours is set to something very specific that only works in a very specific situation. Push the "camera mode" button (above and to the left of the round forward/back/OK" button; my camera has gone walkabout even though I KNOW I set it on my keyboard Friday night and I have been the only one home since then). That will bring up a column of icons on the left edge of the screen; choose either the top or bottom one -- they are both general, automatic modes (sorry, I haven't figured out the difference between them) and work for lots of situations. I have used only those and the macro mode -- the one with the flower icon.

Let's learn this camera together!